Funny Dad Jokes
- "Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school."
- "What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
- "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
- "I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."
- "I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."
- "Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
- "How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."
- "What did the zero say to the eight?" "That belt looks good on you."
- "Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones."
- "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
- "Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!"
- "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"
- "What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen."
- "What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!"
- "A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'"
- "My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
- "Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."
- "What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."
- "Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
- "What's the best thing about Switzerland?" "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."
- "Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?" "It didn't have the guts."
- "What does a bee use to brush its hair?" "A honeycomb!"
- "I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction."
- "Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
- "What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?" "Where's Pop Corn?"
- "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."
- "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
- "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
- "What do you call a poor Santa Claus?" "St. Nickel-less."
- "What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
- "What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."
- "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
- "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
- "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
- "I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
- "Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."
- "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
- "How do you make 7 even?" "Take away the s."
- "What does a sprinter eat before a race?" "Nothing, they fast!"
- "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."