Funny Dad Jokes

Written by Administrator on Friday March 26, 2021

  1. "Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school."
  2. "What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
  3. "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
  4. "I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."
  5. "I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."
  6. "Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
  7. "How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."
  8. "What did the zero say to the eight?" "That belt looks good on you."
  9. "Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones."
  10. "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
  11. "Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!"
  12. "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"
  13. "What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen."
  14. "What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!"
  15. "A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'"
  16. "My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
  17. "Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."
  18. "What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."
  19. "Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
  20. "What's the best thing about Switzerland?" "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."
  21. "Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?" "It didn't have the guts."
  22. "What does a bee use to brush its hair?" "A honeycomb!"
  23. "I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction."
  24. "Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
  25. "What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?" "Where's Pop Corn?"
  26. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."
  27. "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
  28. "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
  29. "What do you call a poor Santa Claus?" "St. Nickel-less."
  30. "What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
  31. "What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."
  32. "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
  33. "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
  34. "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
  35. "I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
  36. "Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."
  37. "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
  38. "How do you make 7 even?" "Take away the s."
  39. "What does a sprinter eat before a race?" "Nothing, they fast!"
  40. "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."

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